The path of life...

Changes

2008-08-21T22:06:00.003-07:00

Well (that's a deep subject... let's not dig into it, haha )... there's been a lot of changes over the last little while and various matters, especially when it comes to my future, continue to change. The most notable at the present is the matter of me having laid aside my job at the group home in order to go to Seminary full time! The decision to do this come up rather quickly and unexpectedly not just for others but also for myself. I'm getting myself into some deep water it seems; yet there is clarity in God biding me to come. I've needed faith and trust for this being the step I need to take. One reason being that I had to move out of my place north of Edmonton and move into the south side (45-60mins away from where I work) before I knew if I was accepted. In fact, I had to tell my boss I was completely done before my acceptance was sealed. Add to that Finances and the workload and you've got yourself a sitting duck for faith testing. Not that I'd claim some great credit for "my faith," it just kind of happened... and is happening. I knew that I had to be somewhere else at this time (not at group home anymore) and Seminary is the only place I understood as the right place for me at this time.
So starting September 2, 2008 I'll be at Taylor Seminary working on a M. Div. in Pastoral Leadership! Yikes! I'm excited for the opportunity and challenge as well as nervous about the crazy shift in direction my future seems to be headed down. This is not just true of going to Seminary but touches many areas of my life: Spiritual, personal, social, financial, intellectual... Actually my life seems to be a little out of my control. I heard a sermon over the radio a few weeks ago about how when Jesus called a number of the disciples he just said "follow me," without the question of "where?" they just followed. The point is that it's not about WHERE we are going but WHO we are going with. Christ called me out onto the water, the winds blow and the waves crash around me, the depth below me sinks further and further from sight... It matters not, for it was Christ who called me and I will come! Where do you need to go?

Update

2008-02-13T11:49:00.003-07:00

Well thought I'd write a little update here for people (if any still read this)... Sad news first... My Grandpa died Last week... he knew it was going to happen. The worst part of it is that last time I saw him and talk about Jesus with him he rejected it and said he perfered not to think about what would happen when he died (despite being on his death bed!) It all went to show me that it really doesn't matter what you do in life... if you don't have the real Jesus you don't have anything! It is all out of my/our hands now but may it be a reminder to be faithful in following the Spirit's leading in our lives for truely, "the kingdom of God is coming soon," life is short. You can pray for my Mom during this time if you'd like, it's hardest on her I think.

My work at the group home is going fairly well, I've been encouraged by some of the changes I see in the boys. One of the boys will be leaving very shortly so that means a change in the dynamic of the home as a new boy replaces him. We are enjoying the warm weather the last couple of days as it has been quite cold here and we are outside alot.

Personally I've taken up a few things in that last little while... I've challenged myself at hockey more and suit up to play some random guys at a sports centre in Fort Sask.; I'm reading more now (which proves to be much more rewarding and enjoyable then the Tube); I've also challenged myself with getting a bit into drawing and learn the many things that are involved in that relm. I have some exciting directions ahead of me in reguards to trips and "adventures" but I'll save that to a time were things are a little more solidified...

All for now... and in case I don't see you... Good Afternoon, Good evening and Good Night!

Stop-ish

2007-11-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

Ya... so the other day (actually a number of weeks ago) I was driving the big 15 passenger work van and a cop pulled me over. Not having had that experience very much, and it being the work van, I was a bit nervous. So this cop walks up to the window and does the normal thing asking for licence and registration and all that jazz and luckily I happened to have it on me. To make a potentially long story shorter... I was able to leave with a warning... the problem... apparently I didn't come to a "complete" stop at the stop sign. I think that is one of the only things the cops have to do in this small town (Gibbons), pull over people for not stopping all the way... actually I'm pretty sure that is why the speed limit is 40km/h, they dropped it so they could maybe catch someone speeding (I don't know why else it would be so low)...

All this not to belittle cops by anyway, cops are just doing their job and should be respected properly. What needs to happen (in my opinion) is for the traffic guys to make a new sign and replace it with many of the stop signs out there. This new sign would be a "Stop-ish" sign, so instead of stopping you could just kind-of-stop or "rolling" stop... think of it, all kinds of people would save seconds every time they went through these new stop-ish signs. I mean really a 4-way stop is kind of ridiculous when everyone could just kind-of-stop, right then the number of people who saved time at one intersection has multiplied... It could then turn into people spending more time with family because of all the time they saved not having to stop completely. It would also be easier on the vehicles and take less wear and tear on brakes then turning into less expenses and perhaps even save some marriages because of the financial break everyone got (other then the mechanics). If everyone gets really good at these stop-ish signs it would save even more time as people could hardly-stop. Really if you think of it stop signs are causing all kinds of problems in today's society, almost so that we should fine whoever decides a stop sign needs to go in a certain place what a crazy idea! Why stop when you can kind-of-stop?

The Death of Sanity

2007-10-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well... for those who have not heard from me in awhile (or perhaps never have) hear is a bit of an update on what has been going on...

My oldest sister just got married (and will shortly have another child) in Brandon, MB. My Mom and Dad (biological); my youngest sister (Mary-Jane) and two of her girls; and I took the van down to the wedding... Any who knows my family would be able to guess the potential for "adventure" a trip like that holds. The trip down was fairly uneventful... aside from the many potty breaks and over energized kids. The wedding went fairly good, very small wedding in the backyard. It was good to see Hope finally get married and for Alisha to have a "Dad" in the home. I enjoyed seeing my niece as I hadn't seen her in quite some time, it was good to see my sister and her now husband too. The trip back from Manitoba was a little more eventful... Left at about 8:00pm Alberta time, ended up going to Lethbridge instead of straight back to Edmonton, ran out of gas at 3:00am and had to wait three hours before gas station opened, drove around Lethbridge trying to find out where my Aunt lived, drove around Lethbridge trying to find somewhere to eat breakfast, Mom got lost for between two and three hours, then on the trip back to Edmonton (finally) we blew a back tire on the van... thus turning a 13 hour trip into about a 26 hour trip!

This trip along with other things such as: my fridge that doesn't work properly; my house having electrical surges (affecting the fridge, lights, and furnace among other things); losing my keys (only to find them in my pocket); and the guy in the Silent part of the library with me right now who's talking way too much and way to loud... these things (along with others) cause me to wonder if the Lord is trying to help me build patience (or some other character trait)... if anyone is wondering, I don't recall asking the Lord to teach me patience although I'm sure it is a good thing to learn, just not a nice thing to be taught. I'm quite glad I do not have the tendency to pull my hair in situations such as these; otherwise I may look more like my Dad then I already do!

I'm sure your life has those moments when you feel more like strangling something/someone more then you feel like being levelheaded. Perhaps your there right now... If someone is near you right now I give you permission to pinch them and you can tell them I gave you such when you do it (although in most situations I'm not sure it will be enough of an excuse). Shouldn't that remind us of how patient the Lord is with us though? We mess up things that really matter and yet He remains so faithful... How thankful for that I am... Thankful enough that I might even resist the urge to slap the "library talker" across the head when I'm done this...

The Leap of Faith

2007-09-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” ~Eph. 5:1
“The Entire Population of the World – with One Minor Exception – Is Composed of Others.” ~John Maxwell, Winning With People
A guy I had started a friendship with got fairly proactive and took me out to a skydiving course with him... We weren’t able to go the day of the course so I ended up going on a day by myself... It was quite the experience! I am in what might be termed as a “student program”, that is I jump on my own without anyone attached to me and each time I jump I have a different objective to achieve. I believe the objective this time was to make it down alive and bonus points for not breaking anything on the landing! (I hope that remains a long standing objective, in case I decide to go again... which I probably will, considering any hope of a low life insurance policy is already shot).
At any rate I showed up at this hick town airport alone asking them if there is anyone who will throw me out of a flying plane (I know of a number of people in the past who have wished to do a similar thing to me... although probably not for the same motives and they would have done so for free). I waited a while but nobody else show up and for some reason this didn’t concern me as you’d think it should have. It turned out for the “better” though... Eventually most of the instructors got ready and in no time (waivers signed) we were in the plane ready to hurl down to the ground hoping a backpack full of clothing material would save us. It was when I was kneeling in the plane ready to take off that I was informed we were going to do something a little “special”, or as the instructor said it “we don’t do this for students, but considering it’s just you...” (Previously I was told we they are dropping me off, quite literally, at 4,000 feet rather than 3,500 because they didn’t want to “stop” for me). What was this “special” treat? They call it “the Superman”; basically instead of taking off normally they get you to lean forward and as soon as your off the ground (this is about the time they asked me if it was okay) the pilot pulls on the stick thrusting the plane from a horizontal position to more of a space shuttle position (a.k.a. straight up)... it is quite interesting how the parts inside your body like to swap places when that happens but eventually my stomach decided to return to the position it was created to be in.
Up up up we went and just about when I thought it was time to get out the instructor said “this is a thousand feet” (three more thousand to go)! To tell the truth I wasn’t all that nervous yet, actually we got up to four thousand feet (everything became really tiny) and I was fine, the door opened I climbed out (almost too soon), I went to the end of the wing and hung there by just my arms... I was fine... I let go of the plane... that didn’t go so good! Suddenly my broken “DANGER!” Light came on in my head, whatever mechanical code it was it stood for, “yep gravity still works and it’s doing an overhaul on you!” Rather than making the all important “X” formation one sees in pictures of skydivers I made more of a squiggly “I” formation like someone who just jumped off a building thinking it was a footstool.
I ended up completing at least one of my objectives (to get down alive, even without braking anything!) and according to my instructors I did fairly well at the rest of the jump too (that is after the parachute caught me).I suppose as I think of this event I’m reminded how we need to live our Christian lives: to let go of the things we are bond to and trust the Lord to catch us (even when we don’t have a back up parachute); to enjoy the ride while being mindful of where we’re headed; and most of all to take “risks” for the Lord! There are a lot of people willing to do some pretty crazy things: Base jumping, diving and biking off cliffs, stunt flying, etc. I wonder though, How many of us are really willing to take a “risk” for the Lord? To take Him at His Word; to “live a life of love”; to reach out to a hurting world? Out of a sudden jumping from a plane doesn’t seem all that bad.

Trips taken, truths?... learning.

2007-07-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

“The work of [The LORD’s] hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. They are steadfast for ever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness.” ~Ps. 111:7-8

Wow! It has been quite the number of weeks the last while! Some fairly intense things have happened along with some pretty cool things. As I am not currently connected to the internet so I’m not sure when the last time I wrote was, I’ll just write about the last couple of weeks...
Just before the beginning of July I went out to Saskatchewan for a surprise visit... I spoke at a cabin retreat for the Lost River youth group I lead for awhile and who have a part of my heart. The Lord showed me His faithfulness as I worked on preparing the messages (they were just in time and fell together wonderfully). I spoke on our desires and the need for our longing to be after God not the mirages and “broken cisterns” of life (A message I was/am needing these days). It was a great time connecting and hanging out with some pretty special people I got to know previously. That time was followed with a trip to Nipawin, Melfort and Lost River area visiting with some of the wonderful people I got to know during my time out there. I had a lot of fun playing soccer, River canoeing, watching fireworks, and talking with others.
Let me tell you a story! It is not one you have heard yet as I have only eluded it to one person so far... Actually I feel like making a number of disclaimers here but... oh well... On my trip home from Saskatchewan (a long trip to be sure) I ended up picking up two hitch hikers (not something I necessarily encourage). The first one was an older (middle aged) naive guy I picked up right after P.A. and drove to Shellbrook for a doctor’s appointment. We talked of the N.C.E.M mission near there and he said he listened to their program sometimes... It was good to talk with him and offer a ride as I tried to encourage him along the path God was trying to guide him down... The next hiker was a little more “interesting”... I picked him up shortly after I dropped the other guy off, just after Shellbrook. Let me give you some “advise”... 1.you shouldn’t normally pick up hitchhikers and 2.the other thing... if you do and they ask were your headed don’t say something like “Edmonton (6 hours away)” say something more like “where are you going? I can drop you off maybe in an hour or so...” Unless you’re ready for a long trip! No one ever gave me that advise (the latter)...
So the Hitchhiker (his name is Don) said, “Where are you going?” and I said “Edmonton”... then he said “ME TOO!” ...sigh. (I suppose if I were to follow the Biblical example of “going the extra mile” I should have dropped him off in say Price George, B.C. but I’m not sure he would have appreciated it, plus... 6 hours was long enough). I got to know Don a bit during our time together... be it through his signing to the music while he was not quite half awake; his continuous talking about whatever; his potty breaks in places others would not normally go (at least during daylight hours); or his mistaking a guy in a vehicle next to ours for a girl and calling him “good looking” (my words,) along with Don’s colourful language when he found out it was not in fact a female... You know what really strikes me about Don though... God loves him soooo much! I thought of Don after this time together and I’m quite glad for the opportunity the Lord gave to me in meeting with him... What a blessing it is to be able to do something even so small as that for the Lord! To do something small as that for someone... for anyone! Don is a guy who’s lonely and searching... there are many many more people just like him. Different faces, different names, the same depth of love from the Lord... Maybe we should do more than just think about loving people (namely the “Don’s”) and start actually doing it and rejoicing in the opportunities the Lord gives us to do so.
I would love to write more but I think I should end on that note...
“...The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’... He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’” ~Mt. 25:40,45

2007-07-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted in awhile... I suppose that is a good sign prehaps pointing to that I might have a bit of a life. I've been really quite busy with going places and would love to write about it soon so stay tuned!

WILD MAN!!!

2007-06-08T16:25:00.000-07:00

To tell you the truth it has been a long couple weeks (busy with little rest) and tonight I feel like reading some of my book much more then I feel like typing this... However I also feel a type of burden to write about something that has been going in my mind lightly... I’ve been reading a couple of books (I rarely read one at a time) and by providence they have recently crossed paths on an issue that hits me, my situation, and many other guys out there right where we’re at. I hesitate to write this as it is quite candid and yet at the same time it is a start to what guys really need to grab a hold of and start living out. I write mainly thoughts from Wild at Heart: Chp. 3...
“All men die; few men ever really live...” ~Braveheart. Eldredge quotes this at the beginning of his chapter and quite fittingly so as that is what we are talking about here: How so many men/guys are living what might be termed as the “Low life”, not just that we have fallen to all kinds of sin (in various forms) but also that we have not grabbed a hold of the passion within us. As Eldredge says it, “The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart.”(pg. 41). We wonder why so few guys are found in church or church related places (both young and old); A good friend of mine (Crystal) recently wrote a blog about her disgust of the TV/Video choices of some guys she knows; There are many stories of Pastors and teachers who have fallen to all kinds of sin... Consider, “If a man does not find those things for which his heart is made, if he is never even invited to live for them from his deep heart, he will look for them in some other way.” (Eldredge, 44). My friends, I feel for the most part our Christian community does not invite a man to follow the desires and passions of a pure heart within us! At least not to the extent it should. In part, that is the reason guys watch movies they shouldn’t watch, and look at pictures they shouldn’t, and many other sinful things. They are in pursuit of the adventure the church lacks, the adventure God gave them a thirst for.
I believe this has a lot to do with the calling of God upon our lives. In the first place the calling God has for us to live a pure life, devoted to the Lord and stayed upon Him. In the second place the calling the Lord has upon our lives as individuals! You can argue till the cows come home on Predestination vs. Free Will but in this instance I really don’t care, the Lord most surely has a call on our lives individually. He asks you to serve Him were you are at right now, in your job, in your school, in your neighbourhood... are you striving after those things which God would have you do were your at right now? Are you being faithful with the “little” so that perhaps one day you can be trusted with “much”?
Too many churches/people have lost the “power of challenge” because it isn’t comfortable, and generally in N. America we don’t like the things which stand in the way of comfort. I’m telling you Christians need to read Scripture so as to search and convict (oh, dirty word) their hearts; Preachers need to preach by the power of the Holy Spirit and for change (oh, another dirty word); and you and I need to get off our butts and start running the race, fighting the fight, and striving for the prize and victory which the Lord designed us for. I’m talking about putting our energies toward the things of the Lord and the things which he has laid on our hearts!
“We need to help guys find adventure, break the boredom, and discipline their minds by actively replacing porn [or other unhealthy pursuits] with healthy pursuits. This becomes a greater adventure when we draw a connection between the need for adventure and the need to be spiritually connected with God.” ~Gerali, TeenageGuys. Pg. 89

Joyful Heartache

2007-05-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Right now I’m listening to a Christian radio station the song(s) that are on presently are ones in which speak of the pain in a life. One of the songs was about losing a loved one... called something to the way of “When Superheroes Die”. The reason these few songs are currently playing is because someone has recently come to such lose and let the DJ know about it. While the songs were playing I was reading a bit about the Compassion child I recently decided to sponsor. His name is Pritom Sarker Porash and is about six years old, He’s from Bangladesh and the Lord loves him just as much as He loves you! It’s seems it is becoming less common for me to focus on matters such as these (not necessarily a bad thing) but for some reason our Lord has helped me to see such a beauty in the painful things in life. I think of that now as I consider the lady in Edmonton area who admitted her pain over someone very close passing away on her and as I think of this boy Pritom and his family.
Why is it that I find such beauty in the painful/hard things of life? Well there are a number of reasons I could guess for such a thing but let me first share a couple of verses with you I’ve been enlightened to lightly. “...But let the brother of humble circumstances glory in his high position; and let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away...” ~Ja. 1:9-10. At first these verses are fairly confusing but looking a bit deeper helps bring out the meaning. It is an “upside down kingdom” in which we have been adopted into as God’s children and yet so often even as believers we get off track. If we were to write these verses it would be more like, “He who is living pretty good (has wealth, great relationships, and the such) let him rejoice for what he has; he who doesn’t have so much in life let him bag the Lord for mercy.” We didn’t write the Biblical words though, James did and he did so through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
To help understand what is being said here look towards the start of the chapter, James says, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” ~Ja. 2-4. Why is it that we are to rejoice in our trials? Why should the one of “humble circumstances” glory in his position? Why should the rich be thankful for that which humbles him? For this reason, true and enduring riches are not found in things or in what the world seeks. True and enduring riches are found in the Lord and being near to Him. As we allow those hurtful/hard situations and times in our life to draw us ever so nearer to our King we will find a beauty in the Lord like we have never known before and more and more our hearts will be satisfied with little else.
So then it is not so much the pain/hurt in life that I find beauty in but rather the wondrous riches the Lord draws out of such. If you are hurting right now, for whatever reason, may you be reminded of the beauty which the Lord is trying to create within you and let Him do His work. If you only know those who are hurting this day believe God for them and comfort them with His love.

"Wild" Boys, Amazingly View

2007-05-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

So finally I got a picture of where I work! (Left) It is the home covered in trees right beside the river. We see some interesting things go by on the river every now and again (i.e. a Jet Boat). The field to the left of the picture is the group home's property as well it is used for baseball, soccer, golf... but most commonly for walking laps when the boys misbehave (it a good size). In between the rows of trees and the road are a bunch of dirt jumps the boys made (I haven't yet seen a better hick version of them). This is actually the older boys home where I've been working since the beginning of April, it is nicknamed "Riverside".

This is the main home (for younger boys 8-12), we call it "Forestview" (Right). It is just up the hill (to the right of the last pic) from the other group home. It has a hockey rink and a great sledding hill among other things. All the bush in in front has trails through it which are great for Skidooing and other adventures. What a beautiful place out in the country! Much better then what most group homes have to offer (many are in the city).

I sure hope you appreciate these pictures because I sure took a wild trek up some cliffs to get it! Along cliff walls covered in wasps, through thorns and brutal branches, infested by mosquitoes (I'm not joking at all! It is quite the journey... actually one we take with the boys the odd time)...the view is great though!

I've got a few more pictures I'd love to share... I'll do that later probably (although I'll be posting them on my Facebook account soon as well). It is a blessing from the Lord to work where I am, there are those tough days to be sure but there is something so much better about working in this type of capacity for people rather then bending a piece of tin! Somthing the Lord seems to be pressing in my life lightly is the need and blessing to think of others and serve them with my life, actions, words and prayers. That takes a lot of work!

I Love Natives

2007-05-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well let's see how this one goes... I just read a comment from a friend of mine that she recently sat thorough a long meeting with those who do not share her worldview! That is quite interesting as yesterday and today I was in a course for my work in the group home. It was an Aboriginal Cultural Awareness course and now that I'm done it I've completed the course requirements for my job (until the upgrades are needed). It is kind of neat to take these courses aside from the length of them and the times you feel like sleeping. One of the things that makes them neat is that you are able to talk with people who share much the same kind of job as you from various different organizations across the city of Edmonton and surrounding areas.

Sometimes you met pretty nifty people sometimes you thank God your not working at other homes. It helps me to be thankful for the home I work in as although I don't make as much $$ as the other people I can remain decently sane after a twelve hour shift. On top of that is the blessing of working in a situation where Christianity and it's standards are out in the open and we seek to put into what we do the truths of Scripture. This makes for a much higher standard of expectation for both staff and "clients" (a.k.a. the boys), it also provides a clear direction on how we are to do things.

Let me get back to the course I just finished... I need to be careful here... let me first of all say I appreciate the course for the knowledge it gave me (and others) about the Native culture and history. What I didn't appreciate about the course is the that the teacher seemed to teach from a type of resentment and strong basis (not that she doesn't like white people but she was against much of what the government did/is doing). Actually she (and others) ended up getting very upset at me for some questions I asked... I ended up feeling like everyone thought I was racist (which I definitely didn't mean to portray). Others in the class (who didn't know me) didn't understand why these people were so frazzled... I suppose those insecurities/hidden wounds just happened to lead them to the wrong conclusion before I was even done asking a question. How many times does that happen to us?! We jump to conclusions and in actions or just in our minds we rip someone to pieces for something that don't even believe. Anyway aside from all this I learned to have a better appreciation for the Native culture.

I was saddened for the way in which these instructors seemed to talk however... Here is someone who is involved in child/youth care and to some extent has made something a little more from her life... What does she do? In subtle ways she teaches people that all the problems of her life, but more so the Aboriginal people in general, are the fault of others... The government did this... the people are not on a 100% organic diet (took some blame for the drinking problem), White people introduced all these new things into their culture... Please don't get me wrong I'm sure many of these things have some truth to them and they likely have much to do with the beginnings of many problems among the native people...

I love native people (as I do anyone)! That is why I point out to you a lesson I learnt both though experience and through Scripture... If you don't own up to your own problems you will seriously hinder your ability to progress in life in a meaningful way! That is, we need to point at ourselves as the problem not someone or something else. There is a whole lot more people then just some Natives who need to learn that lesson (i.e. Freud). Scripture/God honors not the prefect but the humble... those who admit their need (not their problem), people who take responsibility for their problems and sins. In fact, as I have recently learned, one of the Seven Teaching of the Native culture is just that, "Humility" along with "Honesty" and "Truth". You want the truth... listen to Eze. 18:20, "The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him."

We are responsible for the lives we live! On Judgement day there is no such thing as the blame game... The scapegoat was for those who recognized their need for it, not for people to avoid understanding their need for it. So too with Christ's death on the cross, it's was done for those who would recognize their need for the salvation brought through Christ, not for people to be washed of their responsibility. Here stands the honest truth and the need for Humility which is honored among the native people, along with many others.

Herein the hope, Eze. 18:21-23...
"But if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed and keeps all my decrees and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die. None of the offenses he has committed will be remembered against him. Because of the righteous things he has done, he will live. Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?"

and John 6:28-29...

"Then [the disciples] asked [Jesus], 'What must we do to do the works God requires?' Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.'"

P.s. In case you where wondering this is not what the teacher got frazzled about

The Mighty Hands of God

2007-05-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

“Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.” ~Ps. 40:4
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?... Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” ~Ps. 42:2, 11
“Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love.” ~Ps. 44:26
“My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king…” ~Ps. 45:1a
“You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.” ~Ps. 45:7
“God is our refuge and strength an ever-present help in trouble… The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” ~Ps. 46:1, 11
As summed up in these verses the last little while devotions seems to have run a theme, at least within my heart, of trusting in the Lord. These are times of seemingly greater struggle and falling yet the Lord through all of that desires and asks me to trust in Him. To trust Him for His grace and forgiveness, to trust Him for my desires and passions. To trust Him to provide the relationships and various other social, psychological, and physical needs I have. Extending off that comes the need to be one who seeks the needs of others, to reach out and not worry about people reaching into me. In Ps. 44 the psalmist writes a fairly interesting reality of the Lord allowing hardship to fall even while the people are trusting in the Lord. The response is to keep trusting, keep believing in the power and unfailing love of the Lord. As he says, “Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love.”
Today that theme continued as I read through Ps. 45 and 46… I love the “poetry” of 45:1 and the truth of verse 7. This latter verse shows how as we seek to live right lives, even in the midst of a dark place where there is little companionship towards that end, we are set apart by God. Not set apart so as to boast, nor necessarily in how perfect our lives are/look; rather as I seek to know the Lord more and more, closer and closer, I’m set apart in the area of joy. Many of the circumstances may be the same but I’m different in the factor of trusting and knowing the One who is in control of it all. I can know and feel the safety of God’s mighty hand around and upon me as I walk in the midst of a battlefield.

In other "news" yesterday was really great for me, the morning I wasted but it was all pulled together in the afternoon. My friend Tim and I went Bowling, talked with some "Church of Latter-day Saints" (Mormon) guys... that was interesting we'll probably be in touch again. We also walked around the Legislature, out for a Mongolian Supper and then played pool with others (i.e. Conal). Tim also put up with me stopping at a place I used to live and walking around telling him all kinds of stories, great friend or what :)

More Blogging!!

2007-05-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hey there. Just thought I'd let you all know about a new blog I set up specifically for sharing and enforcing some of the things I'm learning... I'll likely stick to one topic at a time... Right now I'm working on a book about Teenage Guys, basically understanding them and developing strategies to help them in this critical time. Your more then welcome to join me on my quest for greater knowledge and hopefully in turn greater effectiveness in these areas! I wound love if it even turned into a type of discussion through e-mail or whatever other means of communication. The blog address is http://whatimlearning-pablo.blogspot.com/ or you can at any time simply click on the link at the top of the page.

It's Time!

2007-04-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

“Beloved, don’t you know that there is no happiness or blessedness except in giving to God?” ~Andrew Murray, 101
“ …‘Lord, here is the covenant between You and me. You delight to give all, and I delight to give back all.’ …If that simple lesson were learned, there would be an end of so much trouble about finding out the will of God, and an end of all our holding back, for it would be written, not upon our foreheads, but across our hearts, ‘God can do with me what He pleases; I belong to Him with all I have.’” ~Andrew Murray, 101-102
“You can’t expect to be filled with the Spirit unless you want to live for Christ’s kingdom…” ~Andrew Murray, 104
It seemed the Lord cared to deal with me on this matter as well (which I am thankful for)… This morning I was able to read through the final chapter of “The Deeper Christian Life” by Andrew Murray. This chapter keyed in on a verse, Chronicles 29:14 (if you want to read a cool chapter on giving to the Lord read Chr. 29!). In this chapter people are giving to the Lord for the building of the temple… much is given and King David praises God then says, “But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.” I could write much on this and what surrounds it but let me first try to summarize how Andrew Murray expands so beautifully on it. He observes: 1) God owns all and gives all to us; 2) We have nothing but what we receive, but everything we need we may receive from God; 3) It is our privilege and honor to give back to God what we receive from Him; 4) God has a double joy in His possessions when He receives back from us what He gave. In short, we need to offer God our all and trust His way is truly the best.
Right after I finished reading this chapter we (the group home people and I) went to church… The sermon asked, “What are you going to do with your “dash” [life, as in 1983 – 2080]?”. Addressed was how we as people tend to sit much too much in the “comfort zone/chair”, our lives might be busy and hectic but it is all about serving ourselves. The people in Hebrews 11 didn’t become great or “commented” because they sat around waiting for something to happen (although waiting on the Lord was sometimes part of it). Rather, they were commended for their faith, not waiting around for something to happen “faith” but true faith. True faith is that which causes the beholder to act, like Abraham walking with Isaac to the altar, like Moses going back to Egypt (however imperfect his faith was); the kind of faith that kept the Israelites marching around the walls of Jericho.
This all caused me to think about how I live my life… Do I desire for God to “Rock my World” so as to inspire me towards His plans? How am I living out the life that the Lord has given to me? All things come from the Lord and I am to worship Him by giving back the gifts He has given me. One of the most precious things the Lord has given to me is time, how am I using that gift? Am I worshiping the Lord with my time, asking Him how I am to use it for His glory? So often we waste our lives sitting in our easy chair, watching TV, using the Internet… instead of connecting with and loving people, spending time with God, cleaning up after someone else, etc. Not that there isn’t time to relax or enjoy various habits/hobbies but are we honoring the Lord with the use of such?
What is the Lord calling you to today? Where do we need to be more faithful in service to Him? Jesus Himself exclaimed both, “It is more blessed to give then to receive” and “He who has been faithful with little will also be faithful with much”. Let us be faithful with what God has given to us today, offering our time, money, energy, possessions, etc. to His purposes for His glory! Let’s give our all up to Him and believe whole-heartedly Jam. 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Let us trust Him for these gifts as we faithfully and joyfully give them back in worship; as we share them with others rejoicing that our every need and “want” is already met in Christ.
“Lord, cause these truths to become more and more real to me that I might follow your ways and be wrapped up in you everlasting, unconditional love. May I know you better and draw ever so much nearer to you my King. Amen.”

What a Wonderous God!

2007-04-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Well the other day I came home from being away awhile and found out a bunch of stuff was stolen! Namely the PlayStation 3, X-Box 360, Nintendo Wii, Derek's Pumped up Computer, and another roommate's expensive Laptop. Quite a gift from God that my Laptop wasn't stolen along with all that! The situation revolving around this (i.e. who did it) is even more painful but I don't feel right talking about that part at the moment... I'll just say sometimes you can do so much for others and they'll pay you back mostly with heartache. Pray for the guy who stole this stuff, he/they need it more then anyone. Had a good staff meeting today (group home) addressing that sort of issue and how we are, so much, that way toward the Lord at times... He has done so much for us and how do we often repay Him? Ouch!

In other news... I almost bought a house today but it didn't work out. Here homes are very expensive and you basically have to have the Re-Max lady call, go right away, see the house, and make an offer on it that day! I think it would have been a decent deal for the way homes are going for now but who knows what the market will look like in five years or less! Might end up with a house I bought for $300,000 that is only worth $89,000... Well I can't bank on inheritance (b/c 1. that's morbid 2.my parents aren't rich (at least not the biological ones) and 3. They seem to be ticking for awhile yet). I can't put everything into hoping market will crash (b/c that would hurt a lot of people and who knows what will happen). I can't so much move back to Saskatchewan at present (b/c it would be a long commute to work, although it is more tempting then before). I can't dig a hole and live in it (b/c around the city of Edmonton holes are going for at least $150,000 if you dig them on your own and it's less then 6 feet square, even then you have to get it inspected, insured, and appraised, plus shovels alone are $50,000). So I suppose I'll just have to go with my best option of continually trusting in the Lord to meet all my needs and thanking Him for the great wonderful things that He does on a daily basis.

Actually the Lord has been so good to me in the last while! There have been battles for sure but through them He continually proves to be so faithful, strong and loving! I have so much here, even thinking about wondering if I'd make enough to live before I came seems totally ridiculous now. It is a blessing to be here in Edmonton, difficult at times, streaching for sure, I miss people/friends lots, but a blessing none the less.

Well all for now I suppose... Would love to hear from you, how life is, what God's been teaching you, the battles, the joys... all that jazz.

The Weak and Despised

2007-04-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

“Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness… make straight your way before me.” ~Ps. 5:8
“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” ~Ps. 5:11
“O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint…” ~Ps. 6:1-2a
“Jesus wants us to come and receive the fulfillment of the promise, ‘whoever believes in me… streams of living water will flow from within him’ (Jn. 7:38).” ~Andrew Murray, pg. 59
“Lord, anything, but I must be filled with Your Spirit” ~Andrew Murray, pg. 64
How prone my heart is to wonder! I once saw myself to be a lot more one who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked and who delights in the law of the Lord but in recent months my eyes have been opened to the sinful creature I struggle with inside of me. I desire so much to be that man who is planted by streams of water and to yield “fruit” from my life. There are some strong promises/statements of the Lord… ones I must grab a hold of and allow the Lord to continue doing the great work He started within me.
This last statement is where I need to constantly be… to give the Lord everything so that I might have the Spirit’s filling daily. That I might have more of the Lord, walk more in step with Him and to pour forth the rivers/streams of living water upon the people of this world. So much God/Jesus shows His desire for His people to bear fruit and to pour forth his Spiritual water! If we are not bearing this fruit it is not because of the Lord but because of us. God wants it, we must get our lives right, keep them right and through prayer take hold of those promises. May I/we pray fervently for the work of God to spring forth on our land!
“Lord, I thank you for your great patience and mercy upon me. Thank you that you do not give up on me when I fail so many times and when I am so weak. I praise you for using the weak and despised things of the world to shame the “strong” and for showing your mighty power through using people like me. Help me to stand strong and to walk in the way Everlasting, to walk in your Righteousness and fullness. Spread your protection over me and deliver me from evil. Father God, fill me continually with your Spirit and help me to lay down everything at your feet knowing who you are and your great loving-kindness for all who are yours. Help me to more and more trust in you and be strengthened in my Faith toward you and your work. Amen.”

Filled with the Spirit

2007-04-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

"The first and most important need of our Christian life is fellowship with God... As every moment I need fresh air to breathe, and as the sun every moment sends down afresh its light, so it is only in direct, living communication with God that my soul can really be strong." ~Andrew Murray, "The Deeper Christian Life"

So, I have this sidebar thing on my computer called "Impact", basically while I'm connected to the Internet it will have a verse every day come up and if you click on it there is a discussion going on. It is a cool tool, something that should happen a lot more then in does (only in a personal, real-life situation). Through it I've come to realize that too few people know what it truly means to be "filled with the Holy Spirit" (as in Eph. 5:18, and many other places). Too many are "content" with (as Andrew Murray of old would say...) living the "low life, that is the life of mediocrity and hypocrisy. As Christ followers we are called to be "filled with the Holy Spirit" (Eph. 5:18)... The Holy Spirit cannot fill us if we allow our filthy sins to linger within us, no more then one would care to drink out of a cup sitting in a manure pile. First we must be purified by the Lord by coming before Him daily confessing and repenting (turning from) our sins and giving our all to Him. Then as we are washed again by the blood of the Lord, we ask and receive the filling and indwelling of the Spirit of God!

As far as what that filling is... Gal. 5 shows the fruit of the Spirit; the Holy Spirit as He dwells in our lives produces those things (Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). We also experience a heightened sensitivity to God's desires in everyday life, a sensitivity to the "grey areas". As well, we can understand when we are to make a call; saying something to someone or do something. We better understand and have the heart and mind of the Lord within us leading, guiding and directing us along the right and true path.

Andrew Murray points out the Father's words to the elder brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son... "My Son... you are always with me and everything I have is yours." ~Lk. 15:31. Likewise, and by extension, the Lord says to each one of us, "My child, you are always with me and everything I have is yours... when are you going to grab a hold of my blessed promise?" This is not the only place in the Scripture where God brings this promise before us. See Ja. 4:8, "Come near to God and he will come near to you." or Jn. 14:13-14, "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." There is a powerful rich life out there for each believer let us throw off all that hinders and run for the prize, let us take hold of that life and dwell in the arms and care of the Lord Almighty!

"The true reason of the absence of God from us in rather found in our sin and unbelief, than in any supposed sovereignty of His. If the child of God is walking in faith and obedience, the divine presence will be enjoyed in unbroken continuity." ~Andrew Murray

What is keeping you from enjoying the wonderful presence of the Lord today?

Ya Pictures!

2007-03-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

So I got my laptop. Fairly fast too thanks to Dell! Thought I'd post some pictures that I've been wanting to for awhile. The first picture I'm very proud of because it's of a buch of my family at Christmas time. I wasn't able to see them for awhile until this time. The girl I'm holding is Serenity next to her Mom Shalom (my sister). I hadn't seen them in a long time, it was nice to have my niece be so glad to see me (wish I could/would have spent more time with her).

This second picture is my drive on the way to work one day. It made me joyful to think of the wonder of our God and how He provides such simple beauty some mornings especially.

Don't Leave Me!!

2007-03-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

Ya Ya. Okay so I haven't written for a while and probally the few people who actually read this blog have stopped by now. So I suppose I'll just have to "talk" to myself for awhile hoping someone someday will "hear" me. Reminds me of a Country song that I don't know the words or the title or even the artist for that matter:) Well I can't think of too much to write right now. I got set up with Facebook, I'm not sure about the whole thing but I see potiential for it to make connections that would go beyond the computer. I already found some long lost people on there.
Other then that I should be getting a laptop anyday now which in part will hopefully allow me to have easier and more useful access to the internet as well as do things such as post pictures and all that Jazz. Chow for now.

A Simple Prayer

2007-01-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Whoever pursues rightousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor." ~Pr. 21:21

"Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life." ~Pr. 22:4

"...But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." ~1 Tim. 6:11

"...Take hold of the eternal life to which you where called..." ~1 Tim. 6:12b

"...so that they may take hold of the life that is truely life." ~1 Tim. 6:19

"My people have committed two sins; They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." ~Jer. 2:13

"...'If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me [Jesus] and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.' By this he meant the Spirit..." ~Jn. 7:37-39

"Father, you are the author and giver of life and more importantly of your life, "The life that is truly life". Lord you are the thirst quencher the one who gives fresh pure lasting water for our growth and fulfillment! So, I ask you Lord, where is the reality of this life in me? Where is the stream of living water teaming within me? Where's the abundance? Where's the fulfillment? So often, despite my desire and effort to follow you, I feel so empty, like I'm floating around in some useless merry-go-round. Help me to get off and run with passion, fulfillment and joy toward your heart and your ways. Help there to be a radical change in the way I live, spend my time and view my life. May I make each moment count for eternity. May I rejoice in you and the wonderful people in this world. Help love, among other things, [to] revolutionize the way I walk; Nearer to you, nearer to others, passionate about the unity and life therein! Amen."

Can Mankind be "Good" without God?

2007-01-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

The following is a Journal excerpt of mine from Jan 9, '07:

"Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses the way." ~Pr. 19:2
"Whoever gets sense loves his own soul; he who keeps understanding will discover good." ~Pr. 19:8

I was just watching "The National" tonight, namely the section called "The Lens". What they attempted to search out was the question, "Can mankind be good without God?"... What I appreciate about the program is that people are thinking and talking "educated-ly" about it. What I hate about it is all the lies of Satan that are taking hold of people's lives and belief systems even (in one case on the show) despite the death of one couple's son! These are not all people who put the blindfold over their own eyes but they are so blinded by what they derive truth out of... If there is no God, and therefore no basis for good and evil, how can there be truth from which to draw at all?...
Really the question is not "Can mankind be good without God?", the answer is simple, NO! Why? because mankind cannot be good even with God!!! As Jesus himself said, "...No one is good except God alone." (Mark. 10:18) this truth is profoundly true and set forth throughout Scripture! Not only that but each day proves again and again the reality of this truth. So too history proves it's reality (i.e. WWI and WWII). From one's own life, look at yourself (your not perfect)! How can you expect good to come out of a system that rejects it's strongest Ally (God)?
Where the real nail is hit has to do with the false perception the world has on what qualifies a person to be "good"... People have watered down God's commands, and even their own consciences, because they do not understand a system in which they cannot attain that which is required of them, nor do they want to believe in such a thing. The atheist or "humanist" is not the only one with this false understanding. All religions who do not have Jesus Christ as our substitute, and faith alone in His work as a satisfaction for our sins and as the basis for salvation, fall short. They fall short because, just as the humanist, they trust in themselves or their methods. Blinded from the reality of their need they walk on their "merry" way to the pit's edge sometimes even shutting their ears to the few of us who do cry out pleading for them to change their course!
How we need people who will do all that's within their power to change the course of the multitude starting and continuing in the most important discipline, Prayer!

"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and whoever captures souls is wise." ~Pr. 11:30

"Father, Help me to have the wisdom and your anointing to change lives for eternity. Not that I would change lives and hearts but that you'd do that work through me, that I would be continually faithful to that which you have called me. Amen."

Blessings, Moving, Friends and Family

2006-12-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well much to write about since I last wrote (as much has happened). I finally got to Alberta, we ended up being a day late due to the extended amount of time it took to pack up and clean my house in Melfort. Wanda-Marie, who helped me move and who loves to pack (actually not at all) just about killed me when she saw that I was far from being packed up when I was supposed to be (we ended up leaving not quite 24-hours from when we planned to... I don't know what she was claimplaining about :) Much thanks to her tough).
The people that I left behind are a good group to be sure! I'm sure I will miss them even as I seek to establish myself here in Edmonton (area). I very much enjoyed and appreciated the youth group I was able to be a part of there, what a great group of kids! They were sad to see me go and I was sad to leave them and yet I know it is the Lord's care that they are under and He will indeed take good care of them (unfourantly I don't have any pictures of them). I will also miss the people of the church (Lost River Church, a.k.a. Bethany Mennonite Church) I have found the people within the church to be so loving and giving! My dear friends from the Bible School (i.e. Tim G., Matthew T., etc.) and the McAurther gang show themselves to have been rich blessings in my life over the last couple of years especially. Last of all I realise what a blessing it was to have Pastor Jeff (my mentor, pastor, and friend) in my life to tell me things I didn't want to hear and to lead, direct, and pray for me and my ministry both present and future.
I'd like to let them all, and you all, know that I percieve the work/ministry I'm at now with the Group home to be rewarding, enjoyable and difficult. I realized a bit more of the reality of the whole situation and the boys lives as I went through the orientation and helped on a shift with the boys. For the most part the boys that are in the home fall under the categary of FASD (Fetal Alcohol Specterm Disorder) and there is much to learn in reguards to how to go about helping, displining, and shining forth hope and a future for these young boys (Group home #1 ages are 8-12; Group home #2 ages are 12+). For the first little while I'll be continuing to live in the second Group home until my cousin gets his place. It was interesting to have an electronic detector on my door so everyone in the house knew when I was going in and out of my room; we took care of that though, now I can go in and out without anyone knowing (oh the great freedom I now have!).
Switching from that I'd like to praise the Lord for the family that is up here now... I was able to vist with Susan, Mary-Jane (MJ) and John-Paul (Jay) along with their kids (Faith, Holly, Grace, and Joshua). Also a blessing is that my sister Shalom is down from Victora with her dauther Serenity; Hope is also coming down before Christmas (hopefully with Alisha)! Mom and Dad seem to continue to do well for the most part, it still takes some getting used to with my Mom doing so well these days, Praise God! Right now I'm enjoying all the "Uncle Paul" and laughing I get from the kids. I know that these kids don't have a lot of men in there lives (esp. Serenity) and I love to be a part of curbing that.

Thank you for your prayers, some things that you can pray specifically for are:
- That I would continue being a blessing to both of my families here
- That the Lord would grow within the Group home workers a passion and faith in the Lord for the boys in the home and that they would come to know and searve the Lord wholeheartedly
- I'd be able to get everything in for working in the home (i.e. Driver's lience and Abstract, Social Work Check, etc.). My "first" shift starts tomorrow 9-9
- That we would all enjoy the true meaning and reality of Christmas and not allow Satan to rip down the great blessing of the season (so often we can get sidetracked toward the urgent rather then the important)

I'd also like to praise the Lord that it seems car insurance won't be much more here then in Saskatchewan!

Moving West (this) Young Man!

2006-12-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

Times are full of change these days... I feel like I'm always moving! It was nice to have had some kind of stability over the last little while though (being around the same general area). Now I'm preparing to move to Alberta again!! Back to my "home", the plan has come up quite quickly as I recieved a phone call from my Mom (Betty) telling me that Uncle Errol and the group home is very much in need of a full time "youth worker". So after some thinking and praying I feel as though that is what I need to do. Likely before Christmas I'll be at the group home for "troubled boys" (my definition) and my job will be basically to supervise, play, interact and impact these young boys as best I can. I believe it will be quite a streching time but also well worth it. To go from Melfort where a one bedroom apartment is about $360/month (including heat and water) to Edmonton area where I have found no one bedroom apartments for less then $1000+/month is going to be a strech in itself I'm sure. Not to meation the other high costs of living (i.e. car insurance)... You ever notice that despite the high cost of living it remains so popular? :)

Well I suppose that is all for now... I really should finish up the youth bible study for tomorrow and other inportant things.

The Verbal Kickoff

2006-11-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Those who know me personally would be able to attest to the irregularity of my flowing any type of "flow" or pattern that others (those who claim to be "normal") would follow. I claim that with some degree of healthy pride, not as one who desires to be different for the sake of being different and apart from society, but rather as one who delights in the God given gifts of uniqueness and the need to walk a "straight and narrow path". Despite the commonality of mine "going against the flow" I have determined to use a popular system (this blog) as a means in which to share meaningfully and with a proper degree of openness, hopefully resulting in the enriched lives of those who care to read it. As of this date (Nov. 25) I have decided to fall into the torrent of a fad/current of culture which finds a fascination with expression and sharing of thoughts and ideas over an international base in whose audience is unsure and potentially harmful.

My desire within this system is to be a light and encouragement all eyes which fall upon the words and pictures contained herein. I want to share, however appropriate, my struggles and battles, my highs and lows, my hopes and dreams... I desire this in large part because I believe that 1) We do not do that enough (in an appropriate manner) and 2) A lot of people are going through more then you think and, while they would be weary of claiming it verbally, they are lost/lonely/hurting/desperate, etc. and we are all in great need of love and acceptance.

As of present I do not have a digital camera and so pictures may not come as often or common as I like. Something the Lord seems to be making evident though is the reality of His great provision in all things. I should also make one disclaimer, my spelling and grammar skills have never developed to a point in which I find it easy to write but I pray and ask for that to not hinder the heart of these blogs nor the truths contained within.

P.S. I also hope for this to be a useful tool in which friends and family could stay connected to where I'm at and what I am doing.